eWow it seems like forever since last time I was Here i dont think its gonna really matter if i write n e thing i don think n e one is gonna read it except for caits so i moved back with ma for 2 months got  a job right away and worked paid off some bills and was fine then one day when i was visiting dad for new years ma was mad and got jelouse that i was with dad and not her so she decided to throw all my shit out into the garage then she called my girl and told her i wasnt movin fast enough and all this other shit tryin to get her to hate me... i have no explanation idk y shes bein like this, i can either guess is that shes a bitch. all the way or she psycho,. and no joke she needs to see a doctor soon. Other then that nothin im still lookin for work and i feel like im back at square one. Surgery is done i still have complications but im good The truck is officially mine its in my name um i got a new cell same numba... idk life is borin and sucks but thats about it .... talk to you late if i remember n e thing else.... later peace... I LOVE U CAITLIN SOOO MUCH......

GO FUCK YOUR BONG........ Knocked Up.......

Currently Listening Louder Than Bombs By The Smiths Send Me To Sleep see related

  Hey everyone I know its been a while but ya know, so in 19 now and 20 seems to be coming up fast, Ive been having surgery and thats kept me from moving on with my life but its healing now so its all gonna be good. Nothing really happend in my life, its pretty boring out here in hutch but my friends get back from college at the end of april so im gonna have a big party and get together, so if you read this and want to come just im me on aim or email, or call the cell or home. Many ways to get a hold of me. Anyway the party's gonna be tyte to come if you want. Other than that nothings been goin on. So peace out till next time. Love you kinks.

Currently Listening Harmful If Swallowed (CD & DVD) By Dane Cook see related

love:

Noun
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. 2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. 3. a. Sexual passion. 4. An intense emotional attachment

Obviously we havent done some of the things on that list that I wish perhaps done.... But the rest applys...especially the first... when we met i didnt think of you as nothing more than a friend... but then stuff happend and it seemed that everyday when i went to school I would only go just to see your face... n the days you werent there id leave early...I never felt that way for a certain person, not that i havent loved n e one before but i felt weird the warm fuzzy weird... I didnt realize what it was till later when I look back on it...I also felt something weird as well that made me hesitate a lot from persuing further... it was again in the first definition, kinship... Family... I Guess in a lot of ways looking back i considered you Family... I thought of you as family because you were someone that I could tell things to, like you would a family member, not just a friend but family. And I always felt that if i were to go there with you I would lose that and that was something that i could not afford considering that I was fighting with almost every single person of my little family...I was also going through things at the time and trying to make room for a relationship would have only added to the amount of stress and depression I was going through... I also know that if I entered into a relationship I wouldnt have been able to make you happy, i know that i wouldnt be able to be there for you like you would expect in a relatioinship...

maybe if this had started earlyer maybe my life would have been diff. in fact i know it would have been just because you would be in it....But I think that we both need to realize the facts today...your leaving... and yes i am very pissed off... i think anger to me is better than sadness... Venting is the only way i can deal with this...why am i so angered you ask... why do i even care i mean hell i havent seen you in months... and your right, i guess in my narrowed minded head i was hoping that if i had a couple of years i could turn things around... i thought that by taking these night classes i could get into this college go for a year and graduate with a degree for a good job that i would get right away and be able to get an apt. w/you... but those dreams are crushed. and so was my heart. believe that or not... im sorry your feeling shitty and im sorry if i caused it... moving is a big deal for you and i should have thought of you before i said the things i said... I do wish you the best of luck and I know we will still keep in touch...I wont forget you ... you are as they would call it ... one of the good ones....

Currently Watching Night of the Demons By Alvin Alexis, Allison Barron, Lance Fenton, Billy Gallo, Hal Havins, Cathy Podewell, Linnea Quigley, Philip Tanzini, Jill Terashita, Harold Ayer, Marie Denn, Amelia Kinkade, Karen Ericson, Don Jeffcoat, James W. Quinn, Clark Jarrett see related

Hey everyone whats up... I know I havent written in this log for a while its just ive been busy with lots of stuff... so my dad had surgery and he seemed fine when he got out. But the next day he was so pale and looked pretty bad so I went to the emergency room with him and they ended up hooking him to a morphine drip ... which is pretty bad usually they only do that when your in a death like state... But im home now and everything is fine.  What else, my cuzin is gonna have her baby within the next month or so and im still on a damn job search ..  next week im gonna sign up for the workforce and see if they can get me a damn job ... Kinky i did mean it what i said ... its just hard ... Lots have been on my mind and I should have called you and talked to you more ... I guess its just hard to know that your gonna be leaving and i do want to have a friendship I guess for me right now is that I needed time for myself to think life over ... I guess all I can say is that Im sorry... so dont be a stranger ill get online more and talk so look for me... To everyone else peace and scare the shit out of people this halloween...

Fresh meat... So Sweat.... Nightmare on elm street....

Eat a bowl of Fuck.... I am here to party.... Night of the Demons....

Hey everyone wat up

so ive been gone at family again... i know i gotta stop but they were going through  a lot of shit so i had to kind of be there for support... so my life has been diff... i lost someone close to me but then im finding her again... i will always love you kinky if you read this and i really do wish that i lived closer and that you werent moving away... i think that if you stayed here in mn then maybe we could in the futur be something much more.. and i never want to end our friendship no matter were we are in life i always hope we can still talk.... love you kink's x3

so anyway my dad is getting surgery soon and i have to pick my mom up from the airport i think this friday so im coming into town that means cr... and i hope that it will be fun.. lmfao my moms dating a paster now and i have to meet him its gonna be weird cuz i don want to have the god talk thing with him cuz it will just bore me and im gonna need a lot of liquor afterword... but my mom told him i dont smoke or drink or do any of that so i really have to be on my best behavior... lol yea right... um i have more to say but ill leave it for later so ill have something interesting for you peeps to read ... alright im out... talk to ya later...